Operation Spitcoffee
by Raquel or Kia- Schizo Problems
Summary: Sirius insists on Remus accompanying him for coffee. And they have fun. RLSB slash.


Eeesh. Sorry to those who follow Moony and Lily's Glorious Plan, I'm _terrible _about updating chapter fics. To those who haven't read it or don't care, read and enjoy!

Remus was reading calmly in the Gryffindor dormitory. It was a spring Saturday, and everything seemed to be calming and perfect. His book was at a very dramatic part, the sunlight from the window streamed in, warming him from his position on the couch, and all was well with the world.

Cue Sirius, barging in with a yell.

"MOONY!" He yelled, grinning and running towards Remus. "C'mon! Let's go have coffee!"

The werewolf in question was currently getting over his brief heart attack, so he was a little distracted. "Uh- wha- oh, Padfoot...yeesh, you really should be quieter, now what were you saying?"

"Coffee!"

"Come now, Pads, you want to sneak into the kitchens now? Can't it wait?"

Sirius shook his like a dog dislodging water. "Not here! At a coffee place!"

Remus sighed. He had thought maybe, after they had started dating, the crazy mutt would calm down and turn into a gentle, responsible boyfriend. Of course, if this happened, Sirius just wouldn't be Sirius.

For the most part, Sirius went from being an insane, cheerful, unrealistic buddy to being an insane, cheerful, unrealistic buddy whom Remus dated.

"You want to leave Hogwarts and have coffee in a Muggle shop, on our OWL year? Leaving Hogwarts during the year is against the rules!"

Sirius scoffed and blew a strand of black hair from his face. "Ah, come on, Moons, we're Marauders! Who gives a toss about rules?"

Remus Conjured a bookmark and closed his book. He had a feeling wouldn't get to keep reading it, not if Sirius had his way, which he always did.

"All righty, then, Padfoot, let's break the rules on our OWL year to go drink coffee with Muggles!" Remus extended his arm like he was an old English chappy that wanted to go for a stroll.

Sirius laughed, and hooked his arm around Remus'. "Splendid, good sir, truly splendid."

ONE GETAWAY INVOLVING RUNNING AT TOP SPEED WHILE TEACHERS CHASE YOU AND YELL, "70 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR, YOU BLOODY IDIOTS" LATER

Both sweaty and exhausted, they plunked down on a bench in London.

"This coffee had better taste like liquid gold," Remus grumbled. The werewolf hated running.

"Probably not," Sirius admitted, "But we can look back on this and laugh later!"

"You've said that about a lot of things, Pads. And I'm still not laughing."

"Well then, it hasn't been later yet, has it? Come on, let's find a clothes shop first, Muggles are staring at our robes."

Now dressed in proper Muggle attire, they found a nearby Applebucks.

"I'll have a tall caramel macchiato, please," Remus tells the weird girl with purple-streaked hair.

She pops her gum loudly and turns to Sirius. "And you?"

"Uhh," he replies. "I dunno. I've never actually gotten coffee before."

The girl turns to Remus and jerks her head like, _Well, you sure picked out a genius, didn't you?_

Remus patiently says to Sirius, "You wanted coffee and you've never actually had any?"

"That's why I wanted some!" The dark-haired boy pouted.

"Try the white chocolate mocha," The coffee girl recommended.

Remus nodded his thanks and ordered for his boyfriend.

"Thanks!" Sirius added with a grin. "I'll give you a tip...uh..."

"Sadie," the coffee girl said. "Now shoo. I'll yell for you when your coffee is finished."

They sat down. Remus is kind of amazed how ridiculous his fellow Marauder could be. They broke a major rule to go get coffee, and Sirius doesn't even know how to get it.

He kissed his dog on the cheek. "You're so stupid, Pads. But this is kind of fun."

Sirius gave him a delighted smile. "The fun is just starting, Moony. The Operation is almost in effect!"

Remus knew better than to question this.

"Moony and Padfoot, two orders!" Sadie the coffee girl called.

"How does she know our names?" Sirius asked, confused.

"I told her them."

"Why?"

"Because- you know, I'll just get our coffee."

As it happened, Sirius was not a coffee expert. Remus probably should've expected this. The first time the ravenette drank, he did it way too fast, and burned his mouth. The second time, he was too careful, and ended up with nothing but foam.

"There's a real art to drinking coffee," he said, wiping foam from his mouth, "And I'm painting with my left hand."

But eventually, they were both able to enjoy their cappuccinos, holding hands and lazily staring at the girls that walked by, who pointed and giggled. One tried approaching Sirius, blushing, but quickly veered away at Remus' dark look.

After what seemed like an hour, Sirius piped up.

"Hey, Moons, I gotta game for you."

"Nn? What's that?"

"Close your eyes and open your mouth."

Remus almost groaned. That was the kind of game that was very dangerous, when played with Sirius.

"You aren't gonna put Peter as Wormtail in my mouth again, are you? Did you bring him along?"

"No! Why would I? Pete's no fun, and neither are pranks you do twice. Pinkie-promise it won't be anything you've never put in your mouth before."

"Fine." They interlocked pinkies.

"Now close your eyes, silly!" Sirius said. "No peeking, either."

Remus permitted, and waited for a while.

"Pads, if you're gonna put something in my mouth, do it al-MMF!"

He felt lips on his, rough and demanding. Remus opened his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss- and felt hot coffee rush into his mouth. He swallowed, surprised, and Sirius broke off the kiss.

"YEAH!" The young Black crowed with delight. "Operation Spitcoffee was a SUCCESS!"

"Operation...Spitcoffee? Wait, is _this _why you wanted coffee so badly?" Remus was kind of amused.

"Yeah! I thought of it on the fly and it sounded fun! Don't tell me you didn't like it!"

"Okay. I won't. But seriously Padfoot, that felt really weird."

Sirius adopted a devilish grin. "But that doesn't mean you don't want to try it again, does it?"

"No," Remus admitted, "Not quite."

And the rest of their coffee was enjoyed as thus.

_Before you press the back button, don't forget to review!_


End file.
